Don't Leave Me
by Hedgehog JW
Summary: There was blood, so much blood. On John's clothing, on the floor, it seemed like it was everywhere. How could John have lost this much so quickly?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Sherlock finally stood face to face with the man he had been hunting for days. Each had a gun pointing at the other, the only question, who would make the first move?

"How did you find me?" the killer demanded.

"Oh, it was simple. You left far too many clues. I've tangled with far better criminal minds than yours." Sherlock answered all the time thinking about what came next.

"You need to put that down before you get hurt" he went on.

His prey snorted "I could say the same to you"

He was right, thought Sherlock, this was a stalemate situation. Where was John, he wondered. They had entered the building together but split up to cover more ground. And what about Lestrade? Sherlock had let him know where he would find the criminal, why wasn't he there? He was always late! Typical Scotland Yard, never there when you needed them.

Then it happened. Sherlock heard the door beside him open. So did the killer. Sherlock saw him divert his attention to the door. He caught a glimpse of his best friend enter the room and then the gun shot echoed out. He saw a look of shock spread over John's face, then he staggered backwards and crumpled against the wall.

"John!" he cried out but he knew he could do nothing to help him at that moment.

Sherlock turned his attention quickly to his foe and saw him start to bring the gun back towards him. He knew he only had the advantage for a split second so he fired. The gun dropped from the killers hand and he fell to the floor. Sherlock rushed across the room. He had to secure the killers gun. Only then could he concentrate on what was important, his friend.

He heard John groan in pain "Are you OK?" he called.

He raced to John's side. There was blood, so much blood. On John's clothing, on the floor, it seemed like it was everywhere. How could John have lost this much so quickly?

"Sherlock" John's voice was weak.

Sherlock knelt down and put his hand on his friend's shoulder to try and comfort him. Just this slight touch seemed to make him wince in pain.

"I'm here John" he said "I'm right here"

John smiled. "Is it me or is it cold in here?" he joked.

Sherlock could see that John was shaking, his skin was pale but he didn't know what to do. John was the one who saved lives not him. He didn't know where to start. His friend needed him and for the first time in his life Sherlock felt utterly helpless.

Sherlock took off his coat and placed it over John's bleeding body. He didn't know if it would help but John had said he was cold so it seemed like a start. Sherlock watched as John's eyelids started to flutter.

"John! John! Open your eyes." He said desperately.

"But I'm..so..tired..Sherlock" John gasped in reply.

Sherlock knew his friend was fading. He was losing him. John was dying. What could he do?

John took one last look at Sherlock's face, sighed and then closed his eyes completely.

"JOHN!" screamed Sherlock but there was no response.

He held John's wrist, he could feel a pulse, it was faint but it was there. At least John was alive but for how long if he couldn't figure out what to do next?

Sherlock could feel himself starting to panic. His mind palace, that was the answer. That was always the answer. He just needed to concentrate and go to his mind palace. There he could calm down and find out what he needed to know.

The only problem was it wasn't working. His mind was racing and every time he heard John take a ragged breath the panic inside him rose higher. He couldn't do it, he couldn't find the answer. His best friend was dying beside him and he was just watching it happen.

He scooped John's lifeless body into his arms. "I'm sorry" he whispered "I'm so sorry"

He knew that bullet had been meant for him. It was all his fault.

Sherlock sat holding his friend for what seemed like a lifetime. In truth probably only a minute had gone by before a figure in the hallway spotted them through the open door.

"Gov, over here!" she yelled.

DI Greg Lestrade came running into the room, a look of alarm falling over his face as he took in the scene around him. He pointed to the body on the floor "Check him out" he said to DS Donovan "and call for an ambulance"

Whilst Donovan did as she was told Lestrade bent down by Sherlock. "Sherlock" he said quietly but got no response.

"Sherlock" he said again. Still nothing.

Sherlock was oblivious to everything happening around him he just kept muttering "I'm sorry John. It should have been me."

"SHERLOCK!" Lestrade yelled. Finally Sherlock looked up at him startled. "I need you to let me have a look at John, OK?" he said gently.

Sherlock loosened his grip on his best friend and watched as Lestrade carefully lay him back against the wall.

"John can you hear me?" He gave John's cheek a gentle slap but got no response. Lestrade checked John's pulse and his breathing. They were faint and shallow but there. He pulled Sherlock's coat back a little to see the wound. It was still bleeding badly. He took off his own jacket rolled it up and pressed it hard against the wound desperate to stop the flow of blood. Sherlock flinched as he saw John screw his face up from the pain but at least there was a reaction.

"Where's that ambulance?" Lestrade called in frustration.

"It's on its way Gov" Donovan answered.

"Well do something useful Donovan and go outside and wait for it, make sure they don't get lost." Donovan rushed outside. She was glad to be out of that room if she was honest. She always thought of Sherlock as a freak but to see him looking so distraught was just too weird.

Sherlock held gently to his friend's wrist gaining a little comfort from the rhythm of his pulse, weak but still going.

He could hear Lestrade quietly telling John to stay with them even though John looked like he'd already gone. Sherlock had never felt so scared in all his life. What if John didn't make it? What would he do without him?

Sherlock had always felt that it was easier to be alone and that feelings just complicated matters but he suddenly realised that when John had become his friend he had let his guard down. Right now he wished he hadn't. If this was what having friends was like then he didn't want it. It hurt too much.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Donovan ran along the empty corridor followed by the paramedics and directed them to Lestrade. One checked on the man Sherlock had shot but for him it was already too late. The other went to John's motionless body. She put her hand on Lestrade's shoulder and smiled "Let me take a look." she said.

"What's his name?" the paramedic asked looking at Sherlock.

Sherlock sat quietly in a world of his own just staring at his friend. Lestrade answered for him. "John" he said quietly.

"John can you hear me?" the paramedic asked while checking John's vital signs. He was alive but only just. They checked the wound and then reapplied the pressure. He had lost a lot of blood. The second paramedic was now at John's side. They laid him gently on the stretcher ready to rush him to the ambulance. Sherlock still clutched his wrist unwilling to loosen his grip. If he didn't let go John couldn't leave him.

"Sir, we need to get him to the ambulance." But Sherlock just stared at his friend.

"Sir?" No movement.

Lestrade stepped over and put his hand on Sherlock's arm. "Sherlock¸ you need to let go now." he said softly. "They can't help John unless you do"

Sherlock looked at Lestrade with tears in his eyes. He felt the reassuring beat of John's pulse one more time and then let his friends arm fall onto the stretcher as the paramedics wheeled him out of the door.

Lestrade and Sherlock followed after them and watched as they put John into the ambulance.

"Is he coming with us?" one asked while placing a blanket around Sherlock's shoulders.

"It's OK" replied Lestrade holding Sherlock back "I'll bring him with me"

Sherlock thought sadly that Lestrade didn't want him to go with John in case he distracted the paramedics while they worked. He knew he usually picked fault with what people did, he knew people found it annoying when he knew more about things than they did but he just wanted to be close to his friend. He wouldn't pick fault, he couldn't, after all for once he didn't know what to do.

The truth was Lestrade just wanted to make sure Sherlock was alright. He'd never seen him like this before. Ever! In all the years Lestrade had worked with Sherlock he'd been arrogant, rude, self assured and most importantly right about everything. Lestrade was worried about both his friends not just John. Sure Sherlock could be a pain in the arse but he didn't want to see him like this.

Lestrade led Sherlock over to the car and they were soon on the road sirens wailing, blue lights flashing, chasing after the ambulance which contained a friend fighting for his life.

"He's strong Sherlock, you know that. He'll be fine" Lestrade stated. He wasn't entirely sure that Sherlock was the only one he was trying to convince. He'd seen how pale John's skin was, felt how faint his pulse was and heard how shallow his breathing was. Lestrade knew he was in a bad way and just hoped they got to the hospital in time.

Sherlock sat staring at the blanket. He'd been wrapped in one of these before. It was for shock he'd been told. He remembered that day like it was yesterday. The first time John had saved his life. He wondered if Lestrade had ever worked out that it was John who shot that cabbie. If he had, he'd never let on he knew. Sherlock gave a little smile remembering but it soon faded as his thoughts went back to how little he'd done to save his friend today.

"I couldn't help him" Sherlock muttered.

"It's OK. He's in good hands. He'll be fine." Lestrade reassured even though he didn't think Sherlock was listening.

Lestrade swung the car into a parking spot right near where the ambulance had stopped. He and Sherlock were right behind as John was wheeled into A&E. They followed down the corridor until John was taken through a doorway and a nurse blocker their path.

"You can't go in there I'm afraid." she said.

"But..." was all Sherlock could mutter.

"There's a waiting room just over there." she pointed "The doctor will be with you as soon as she can"

Lestrade put his hand on Sherlock's shoulder and gently steered him in the direction the nurse had pointed. Now they just had to wait.

Sherlock sat, head in hands, convinced that he had got his best friend killed. He knew he was responsible. John would have been better off if they'd never met.

Lestrade paced up and down. He hated this bit. The waiting always felt like a lifetime. John was a good man and he couldn't bear to think of his life ending in this violent way. This man had survived the battle field he shouldn't die from a gunshot wound in London.

Lestrade's thoughts were interrupted when a young woman entered the room. Sherlock stood up, a scared look on his face and Lestrade took his place by Sherlock's side.

"Your friend has lost a lot of blood." She started "But he's stable at the moment and the bullet seems to have missed all his vital organs and arteries. He's gone up to surgery now. I'll get a nurse to show you the way and the surgeon will speak to you as soon as he can. OK?"

"Thanks" Lestrade replied.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

A few minutes later they were upstairs facing another agonising wait for news. The room might be different but the feelings of helplessness were just the same. Sherlock stared at Lestrade desperately seeking reassurance in his face that John would live. Lestrade tried to smile at him, he wanted to be able to relieve his suffering to convince him John would be alright but he knew he couldn't pull it off. Sherlock turned away as tears stung his eyes, sat down and returned to his forlorn thoughts with his head once again in his hands. Lestrade took the seat next to him and put his hand on Sherlock's shoulder. He gave it a gentle squeeze and just said "He's strong Sherlock."

"Sir" a voice said quietly from the doorway. Lestrade looked up, it was Donovan.

"I'll be back in a minute" he told Sherlock although he didn't really think he heard.

In the corridor Donovan explained to her boss about the evidence they had found in the deserted building of earlier that evening. As usual everything was exactly as Sherlock had predicted although Lestrade didn't think he'd take much joy from that tonight. He sighed rubbing his face with his hands. Donovan could see he looked tired. "You OK Gov?" she asked.

"Yes" he replied unconvincingly. Donovan knew her boss liked the freak in the next room and she never understood why. She could understand why he liked John Watson though, he was a good man apart from his taste in best friends. She could see her boss was worried.

"Any news?" she asked.

"Not really" Lestrade replied "he was stable when he went into surgery but he'd lost a lot of blood. Just got to wait and see I guess."

"Anything I can do?"

"No. Go home Donovan. One of should get a good nights sleep." he smiled.

She turned to leave but he stopped her. "Actually, there is one thing. Could you call at Baker Street and let Mrs Hudson know what's happened? I know she says she's just their landlady but I'm sure she worries."

Another person who cared for the freak Donovan thought. What did they see that she didn't? "Of course." she told him.

"Oh and we better track down John's sister, let her know what's happened."

"I've already got someone on it. I've registered Dr Watson's details here as well. I did that straight away. Don't worry it's all under control."

Lestrade smiled. His sergeant always had things under control.

He watched Donovan as she disappeared down the corridor, sighed and then returned to his seat. Maybe talking about the case would help distract Sherlock he thought and besides what else were they going to do to pass the time.

"So, Donovan says everything was just as you said it would be" he started "I've worked with you for how long now? A few years? You know I still can't work out how you do it."

Sherlock suddenly felt anger where seconds ago had been despair. How could this man be such an idiot? And John thought his timing was lousy. He glared at Lestrade "What? You really want me to give you a demonstration now?" he yelled "John is dying. I got him killed. Don't you understand that?" Once again the tears welled up in his eyes, he could feel a lump in his throat. He wasn't used to these sensations and he didn't know how to cope with them.

Lestrade looked at Sherlock desperately fighting back his own tears. "I'm sorry" he spluttered "I was just trying to make you feel better."

"By talking about the very thing that put my friend in this place?"

All of a sudden Lestrade felt like giving up. He couldn't do this anymore. He didn't understand this man at the best of times and he certainly didn't know how to react to him having feelings like everyone else. He never expected to see Sherlock like this. He knew John was Sherlock's friend but he really had thought Sherlock was beyond any human emotion.

"Like I said I'm sorry" and with that Lestrade hurried out of the room. He just needed to escape for a few minutes. He needed to get his own feelings under control. He found the bathroom just down the corridor and barged in. It was empty. Thank god he thought. He didn't want anyone seeing him like this. He leaned on the sink, looked at himself in the mirror and the first tears began to escape. He hung his head and just gave in to his need to let his feelings out.

Sherlock was also finding it hard to accept how he was reacting to John being so badly injured. He knew caring was a mistake so how had he let it happen? What did he do with these feelings now he had them? How could you feel so much pain inside and yet feel numb all at the same time? The waiting was agony. He just needed to know if his friend was going to live or die. Was that really so difficult for these doctors to work out?

He walked over to the wall and thumped it. He felt so angry all of a sudden that he wanted to hurt someone and the only one there was him. Anyway he deserved it. He'd put John in this place. He knew it wasn't really Lestrade he was mad at. Lestrade had been the one who knew what to do. Left to him John would have probably died before the paramedics got there. Lestrade had helped and Sherlock was grateful for that he just didn't know how to tell him.

As quickly as it had arrived the anger was gone and Sherlock felt his legs start to shake like they couldn't take his weight anymore. He turned around, leaned his back against the wall and slid down until he was sat on the floor. Then he cried. For the first time in his life he really cried. He couldn't have stopped the tears even if he'd wanted to.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Lestrade took a deep breath, splashed his face with water and got ready to face the world again, well Sherlock anyway. He decided to stop for coffee at the machine in the hallway. Anything to pass a few more minutes. Surely they would be told something soon?

When he reached the waiting room Lestrade panicked. Where was Sherlock? He wasn't in the chair where he'd left him. Surely the doctors hadn't come with news while he was away? He looked desperately around. He needed to know how John was. He was about to go back down the corridor hoping to find Sherlock and the doctors when he heard the sob. He still couldn't see Sherlock and to start with couldn't believe that noise would have come from him. But as he put the coffee cups on the table he saw the figure sat huddled against the wall.

His heart went out to his friend. He felt tears of his own start to slide slowly down his cheeks again. He walked across the room, sat on the floor next to the huddled figure, put his arm around Sherlock's shoulders and for a while they cried together.

Eventually Lestrade managed to speak. "It's not your fault. You know that right?" he croaked.

Sherlock looked into Lestrade's eyes trying to read if he really meant what he'd said. He couldn't understand why anyone would think he wasn't to blame let alone someone that was John's friend.

"John wanted to help you with your cases. You gave him a purpose in life Sherlock. He knew it was dangerous. We all know it's dangerous. It could be anyone of us lying in that room and the only person that would be to blame is the one that pulled the trigger and that wasn't you."

"But I couldn't help him." Sherlock sobbed.

Lestrade left his arm around Sherlock's shoulders for a few more minutes. Then he stood up and gestured for Sherlock to do the same. "Come on, I've got us some coffee. I think we need it, it's gonna be a long night."

Sherlock wandered slowly across the room to where Lestrade held a paper cup out towards him. He took it, had a sip and then sat on a chair, hunched over cradling the cup in his hands. Lestrade took his place at Sherlock's side once more and a dreadful silence filled the air. Neither man dared utter what they were thinking in case saying it out loud would make it true. John Watson could be dead in that room for all they knew.

They didn't hear the footsteps of the tall man that entered the room and stood beside them. "Are you friends of Mr Watson?" he asked

"Dr Watson!" Sherlock blurted out. He didn't know why but at that moment it seemed so important that John was more than just a Mr.

"Yes sorry, Dr Watson" the surgeon said gently. He seemed to understand Sherlock's need. "He's a fighter isn't he?"

This thought made Sherlock and Lestrade relax a little. John was a fighter and that could only be a good thing right?

"The surgery went well." the man went on. "The bullet caused no organ damage which is good but Dr Watson did lose a lot of blood and his body was put under immense strain. His heart did stop at one point but we managed to get him back. He's breathing on his own again now and is stable but the next 24 hours are critical. We are just getting him settled and then you can see him if you'd like. He will be hooked up to machines but that's just so we can keep a close eye on him. Is there anything you want to know?"

"He will be OK won't he?" Sherlock asked sheepishly.

"Like I said, his body has been under and immense strain and he did lose a lot of blood but he seems pretty determined to hang on so we'll just have to wait and see. We'll have a much better idea in a few hours. Sorry I can't be more certain than that right now."

At that point a nurse came to the door. The surgeon looked over to her and she nodded. "The nurse will take you to see him now."

Lestrade shook the man's hand "Thank you" he muttered.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The walk down the corridor to John's room was only a few feet but it seemed much further than that to Sherlock and Lestrade as they followed the nurse. She stopped at a white door with a glass panel in it and it was here that they got the first glimpse of their fallen friend.

John looked so small and lost lying in those white sheets with wires and tubes around him. As the nurse pushed open the door Sherlock heard that first reassuring beep of the heart monitor. Now he knew John was definitely alive and a small sigh of relief left his lips.

As they entered the room the nurse said "I'll be back shortly to see how he's doing but you can sit with him for now." She smiled at the two men "I'm just down the corridor if you need me."

As she left Sherlock and Lestrade took the seats on either side of John's bed just grateful that their friend was alive.

"You gave us quite a scare there John" Lestrade tried to joke as he put his hand gently on John's arm.

"Do you really think he can hear you?" Sherlock asked.

Lestrade looked at him. He'd expected Sherlock to be being sarcastic, well it was what he was used to but this time he seemed to be asking a genuine question. "I don't know but it can't do any harm to let him know we're here for him can it?"

Sherlock gave a small smile. Lestrade was looking confused, unused to Sherlock actually wanting his opinion on something.

"I guess you're right" Sherlock placed his hand on John's other arm and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Lestrade was still trying to work out this new situation when he heard a gentle knock on the door. He looked, it was Donovan. "You be OK for a minute?" he asked.

Sherlock nodded. Actually he wanted a few minutes alone with John, he had something he wanted to say but not in front of Lestrade he was going to find this hard enough as it was.

In the corridor, Lestrade saw Mrs Hudson standing by the waiting room door she was looking to where he and Donovan were standing. "Sorry Gov" Donovan said "I tried to get her to stay at home until the morning but she was having none of it"

"It's OK" Lestrade replied patting his sergeant on the shoulder as he passed "I've got this. You go home and get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow."

"How is he?"

"Alive" he smiled as he turned to her "Stable. The next 24 hours will tell apparently." And with that he headed towards Mrs Hudson. He felt stronger now he'd seen John. Yes he looked pale, deathly pale but the doctor was right, he was a fighter and he'd come this far. Lestrade was not about to accept that he'd give up now.

Mrs Hudson was looking searchingly at Lestrade as he walked towards her trying to work out if he had good news or bad. She held a handkerchief to her nose and Lestrade could see the tears on her face. He folded his arms around her and held her tight as she sobbed against his chest. Poor woman he thought.

"What happened? How is he?" she asked between her sobs.

"Come and sit down" Lestrade replied. He led her to the chairs in the waiting room, sat her down, held her hand and then explained everything.

Mrs Hudson was relieved to hear that John's surgery had gone well. She'd felt in a complete state of panic from the moment she'd seen Donovan standing in the doorway with that look on her face. She'd know immediately something was wrong. Donovan had wanted her to stay at home, offered to have a police officer stay with her but how could she? Her boys were in trouble, she had to be there for them.

"Can I see him?" she asked

"Yes but why don't you let me get you a cup of tea first? You've had quite a shock and I thought Sherlock might like a few minutes alone with him." Lestrade answered. Mrs Hudson nodded. Lestrade was such a good man she thought as he headed off to the vending machine. She knew that John thought very highly of him and even though Sherlock thought all of Scotland Yard were hopeless he seemed to have some respect for this DI.

Lestrade returned and offered a cup to Mrs Hudson. "Thank you" she said as she took it. "How's Sherlock taking this?" She knew he thought the world of John and she knew he would be hurting.

"I don't know if I'm honest" Lestrade answered "I've never seen him upset before, seen him cry. I'm not sure what I expected him to do but I guess it wasn't that." Lestrade was looking confused again.

"I know" Mrs Hudson reassured. "We never know what's going on in that funny little head of his do we?"

Well at least he wasn't the only one who didn't understand Sherlock he thought.

Now that Sherlock was alone with John he didn't know where to start. There was so much he wanted to say but he didn't know how. He took hold of John's hand, it was warm now but he remembered it had felt cold when he'd held John's wrist while waiting for the paramedics. That seemed like a lifetime ago.

"I'm sorry John" he muttered. "Lestrade says it's not my fault but I know it is. I always lead you into trouble. Just think how quiet, how safe your life would be without me in it." He sighed "Just look at me John. I've always thought of myself as clever but I couldn't help you when you needed me. Hadn't got a clue. I panicked, couldn't think straight. Some use my mind palace was today!" He could no longer look at John, the guilt was just too much. "Please be OK John, please be OK."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

John Watson stirred. He could feel pain, terrible pain. What the hell had happened to him? Slowly it started to come back, walking through the doorway, the man, the gunshot, Sherlock at his side. So where was he now? He could hear something, a voice. He couldn't see but it sounded like Sherlock. Was it Sherlock? Was he OK?

"I'm sorry John" he thought he heard. Couldn't be Sherlock then he never apologised. "Lestrade says it's not my fault but I know it is. I always lead you into trouble. Just think how quiet, how safe your life would be without me in it." Oh my god! Did Sherlock really think that? Didn't Sherlock know how lost he'd been before he met him? He tried desperately to open his eyes but he couldn't. Was he dreaming this or was it real?

John felt like he was drifting, not really with it. He could hear that voice again. "Please be OK John, please be OK."

He really needed to open his eyes. He gathered all his strength and forced his eyelids open. Everything was blurred but was that Sherlock he could see beside him? "Sherlock?" he asked breathlessly. He saw the man lift his head and look towards him. It was Sherlock. He wanted to talk to him. He needed to talk to him but he could feel his strength ebbing away.

"John!" he heard Sherlock shout but he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer and slowly he drifted back to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"Sherlock?"

The word jolted Sherlock from his ramblings. Was it John? Had he really called his name? He looked towards his best friend. His eyes were just about open but his eyelids were already fluttering.

"John!" he called out but John had already gone. The heart monitor was still beeping beside him but it held no comfort now. John had looked at him hadn't he? He hadn't just imagined that? He put his hands on John's shoulders. He wanted to shake him, to wake him up. "John! John!" he called out desperately but there was nothing.

He ran out into the corridor "NUSRE!" he yelled "NURSE!"

Lestrade and Mrs Hudson heard Sherlock's screams and immediately went running. They arrived with him about the same time as the nurse.

"What is it?" Lestrade asked desperately.

"He opened his eyes, I'm sure he did" Sherlock blurted out "but now he's gone. I know something's wrong"

The nurse pushed passed Sherlock into the room and rushed to John's side. She checked him over while the others stood in the doorway, looks of panic on their faces. As she turned towards them she smiled. "He's fine. He's sleeping. If he opened his eyes that's a good sign but his body needs a lot of rest to recover that's all. Try not to worry too much. I know there's a long way to go but he's not giving up and neither should you." She patted Sherlock on the shoulder "I'll check back in 5 minutes see how he's doing but I wouldn't expect him to wake again tonight." As she passed Lestrade and Mrs Hudson she added "You guys should get some rest too."

"Oh Sherlock" said Mrs Hudson as she put her arms around him and gave him a hug. He looked so lost she thought "I'm sure he'll be fine"

Sherlock hugged her, gaining some comfort from her words and then went back to his vigil by John's side. He hoped the nurse was right about John. He needed him more than he'd ever needed anyone. He put his hand back on John's arm. He wanted him to know he wasn't alone.

Mrs Hudson walked over to John and kissed him tenderly on the forehead. "You get some rest John" she said as she plumped his pillow "You need your strength." Sherlock watched as she straightened his sheet and then patted him gently on the arm. She smiled across the bed at Sherlock "He'll be right as rain before you know it." Sherlock smiled back he wanted to believe her, he really did.

Mrs Hudson walked back towards Lestrade her smile wavering slightly now that Sherlock couldn't see. Lestrade put his hand on her shoulder "You did well" he said "That's just what they both needed. Look" he pointed towards her boys and when she turned Mrs Hudson could see that Sherlock, hand still on John's arm, had placed his head on the bed beside his friend and closed his eyes. "Hopefully they'll both get some rest now." Lestrade continued.

They stood and watched the friends peacefully sleeping until the nurse returned. She checked John over, made her notes on his chart and then turned to them "I'm not expecting either of them to be waking anytime soon and you both look exhausted. Why don't you go home and get some rest? I'll call you if there's any change." They both shook their heads. "Well, let's take you to the waiting room then eh? I can't have too many people in here disturbing my patient." She took Mrs Hudson's arm and they walked from the room.

Lestrade went over to John, gave his arm one last gentle pat, muttered "Wake up soon eh? Sherlock really needs you. We all do." and then he followed the others down the corridor.

The nurse had left Mrs Hudson in an armchair and given her a blanket. She looked shattered Lestrade thought. "Why don't you try and get some sleep. I promise I'll wake you if there is any news." She nodded. All of a sudden she looked so frail. "They'll both be fine you know" he added trying to reassure her "They just need a good night's rest."

She sighed, rested her head against her hand and closed her eyes. Lestrade pulled the blanket up around her. "Thank you" she said "for everything"

"It was nothing."

Lestrade sat and tried to rest but sleep just didn't seem to be an option for him tonight. After what felt like hours he found himself stood outside John's room looking in. He knew the nurse had said she didn't want too many people in there but surely one minute wouldn't hurt.

He quietly pushed the door open and walked in. Both John and Sherlock looked so peaceful he didn't want to disturb them. He stood for a few minutes just listening to the sound of their breathing and the heart monitor beeping. Everything was going to be alright, he just knew it.

He smiled to himself and turned to leave. "Thank you Greg" he heard. He span around, it was Sherlock. He knew he had a look of shock on his face but he couldn't help it. Sherlock never said thank you and he never called him Greg. He hadn't even thought Sherlock remembered his first name. Sherlock was looking flustered now and the silence was making him nervous. "I... mean...John... looking after him..."

"I know" Lestrade butted in putting Sherlock out of his misery "It's fine. Now get some rest. You need to be strong for John." He left as Sherlock began to settle down again and returned to check on Mrs Hudson.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

The next thing John Watson was aware of was a hand on his arm. He listened but he couldn't hear any voices this time. He slowly opened his eyes to see his best friend asleep beside him. He couldn't think of anything he'd rather see right now. He laid still watching Sherlock sleep, he didn't want to disturb his friend and it hurt too much to move.

In the waiting room Lestrade was also awake. He'd been that way most of the night. For some reason even though he knew John was doing well he couldn't settle. The nurse had given him reassurance every time she'd seen him but he still needed to see John awake with his own eyes to totally believe it. He'd lost count of the amount of times he'd wandered down that corridor just to see him sleeping. This time was different though, when he got to the door and looked through the glass he saw John looking at Sherlock. His heart missed a beat. He blinked trying to make sure it was real and he wasn't just imagining it. John was definitely awake.

He went in quietly. "Hey. How you feeling?" he asked.

"Like shit if I'm honest" John replied smiling. At least he still had his sense of humour Lestrade thought. Finally he felt himself relax. John really was going to be OK.

"You really had us worried there for a while you know"

"Yeah, sorry about that." John moved slightly to face Lestrade. As he did so he winced. Seeing the pain his friend was in Lestrade suddenly felt the need to make sure everything really was alright.

"I should get the nurse to check you over" he said and turned to leave.

"Greg wait" John reached out to him. "Thanks"

"What for?"

"Everything. You looked out for me at the scene right? I'm sure I heard your voice. And for looking after Sherlock. I know you would have done that."

"Yeah well, I did what I could. I'm not sure I was much help though, he was pretty distressed. I've never seen him like that. Kept blaming himself."

"Thanks anyway, you're a good friend."

John realised that the voice he'd thought was just a dream had been Sherlock talking to him. As Lestrade left the room he wondered how on earth Sherlock could possibly think that he would be better off without him. He sighed.

After telling the nurse that John was awake, Lestrade went to the waiting room to give Mrs Hudson the good news. He put his hand gently on her shoulder. "Mrs Hudson" he said quietly.

She woke with a start. "What is it?" she asked slightly panicked.

"Shh everything's fine" Lestrade reassured "John's awake. The nurse is just going to check him over but I've spoken to him. He's awake"

"Oh thank god" she uttered with tears falling from relief.

Lestrade put his arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze. "Come on let's take you to see him."

The nurse entered the room and spoke to John "So, how you feeling?"

"Everything hurts" he groaned.

She pressed a button on a machine that administered pain relief and then handed it to John. "Here you can use this when you need it"

Sherlock looked up as they were talking. "John you're awake." he stated.

The nurse laughed "You have a very observant friend I see"

"You have no idea!" John grinned looking at Sherlock.

"How's he doing?" Lestrade asked the nurse as he followed Mrs Hudson into the room.

"He's doing well" she answered "He's certainly a strong one."

Lestrade felt the last few doubts fall away from his mind and he smiled. Not a forced smile but his first real smile since all this started.

"You've got 2 minutes" the nurse added sternly "Then I want you all out so my patient can get his rest."

Mrs Hudson went over to John "Don't you ever scare me like that again. Do you hear?"

"I won't. I promise." he replied as she kissed him on the cheek.

Lestrade walked over to join them "We'll hold you to that you know"

The only person who didn't say a word was Sherlock. As relief flooded over him he found he couldn't speak. Not even the simplest of sentences about how pleased he was to see his friend would leave his mouth. Lestrade and Mrs Hudson were telling John how happy they were that he was safe and he couldn't even get that right.

John looked over at him. He could see the pain on Sherlock's face. He smiled "You OK?" he asked.

Sherlock didn't get chance to answer as the nurse re-entered the room "Sorry, times up. Dr Watson here needs to rest." Sherlock knew she was right, he could see how tired John looked but he didn't want to leave. "You can come back later" she added. "You need to get some rest too."

"Come on you two" Lestrade said "I'll take you home"

"I can't. I need to stay with John." Sherlock pleaded with the nurse "There are things I need to tell him."

"Later" the nurse said firmly.

John could see how distressed his friend was and at that moment he realised that if he hadn't been shot he would never have understood how much Sherlock cared about him. It was worth it he decided.

He put his hand on Sherlock's arm. "It's OK." He gestured for Sherlock to come closer. When Sherlock leaned over him he whispered "I heard you and you're wrong you know. When I was alone you were the one that gave me a reason to carry on Sherlock." As he straightened up Sherlock looked into John's tired eyes and he saw that his friend knew exactly what he wanted to say. John was right, everything was OK.

"Now, I'm your doctor remember. Go home Sherlock and get some rest." he smiled.

* * *

 _I hope you enjoyed my first piece of fanfiction._

 _Thank you for reading and thanks to those who have left comments and encouragement. It's much appreciated._


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